So, I am coming up on being married for quite some time now. I love every minute of it, my husband is always making me laugh, and my little girl just completes my world.. But, recently I have aquired some girl friends- ya know, girls that are my friends.. Just to be clear. Although, I guess saying girlfriend wouldn't be too far fetched. One friend imparticular, We will call her Anna, is bisexual. Anna knows I am married, she is married as well, and we have spoken on several occasions of possibly having a relationship.

Mind you, neither one of us wants to leave our spouses, and we both have children, so working out the details was something we had avoided.. Untill recently, we have been talking seriously about possibility. That is... Untill I went to visit Anna.. We watched a movie together. As I was sitting there I realized.. I wasn't attracted to her at all. I guess I had been lying to myself for the past few months, because it hit me like a ton of bricks. I know, that wasn't very nice of me to have lead this young women on.. But lets be honest, I wasn't fully committed to it anyway..

I will say however, I have standards I am sure you do. If I brush my teeth, shower, and dress a certain, I would hope the other person I am interested in, would have the same standards.

I felt awful, because during the movie, she dropped several hints that she wanted me to hold her hand, or put my arm around her... She even put her head on my shoulder.. I just couldn't bring myself to do.. I thought maybe I could just put my arm around her for the duration of the movie. But, I quickly realized that would be leading her on, and I didn't want to do that. Nor, did I want to set the situation up for kissing..

I am only bringing this up, because we both members of a private group on Facebook. Girls who like Girls, or something like that. Anyway, she commented on the page.. quote "Ahh, the feeling of falling for someone who doesn't feel the same..."

I know she is talking about me. I know that I have hurt her feelings. But, I also know that attempting to fill this open wound, will not help matters. Well, I guess they would. But, how do you tell someone who you have been friends with for over a year and a half, built fully on the fact that you wanted a possible physcial relationship.. that you are no longer attracted to them. Does this happen?! Or well, I guess it does, since many marriages go through this same thing..

I guess it's time to put on some bid girl panties and go talk to her.. 

Anna,

If you ever find yourself reading this sometime in the future.. Just know I love you as a friend, and I never meant to hurt you.